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Dreaming: Wishing Well

On the final day of #carehomeweek17 our theme is #dreaming. Below we learn more about Kingdom Homes Wishing Well initiative.

Kingdom Homes has 10 care homes located throughout Fife each home dedicated to either nursing care, residential care or specialist dementia care. Within each of our care homes we ask residents to let us know if they have a dream to take part in an activity or a special day out by posting a “wish” in the Wishing Well. The Wishing Well is located in the Reception area of each home.

We have granted many wishes over the years including –

  • Taken a gentleman who for many years was manager of a cinema to a modern day cinema to see behind the scenes, how films are shown today. His wife and son were able to accompany him on the visit too.
  • The honour of taking a gentleman, the last remaining member of his Black Watch regiment, to the Black watch Museum in Perth to see the Weeping Window poppy display.
  • Taken several gentlemen to Ibrox football stadium to see their favourite football team’s ground.
  • Taking a gentleman to the paper mill where he worked all his adult life to see how the modern day mill operates. To his delight, when he was presented with a hardback copy of the firm’s history book, he discovered a photograph of himself in his apprentice days was published in it.
  • Several ladies have been taken on special shopping trips.
  • A retired bus driver gentleman went to Stonehaven for the day, his favourite destination when he used to drive coach loads of day trippers during his working life. Kingdom Homes’ minibus was at his disposal for the day and he was able to plan the route with our driver. He enjoyed lunch in one of Stonehaven’s pubs before returning home.
  • Another lady wanted to go for a drive into the Scottish countryside so she and a couple of other lady residents that she is very friendly with went to Pitlochry for the day, enjoying the beautiful scenery on the journey.
  • A wish was granted to take a lady and some of her family, back to Craigtoun Caravan Park near St Andrews where she and her husband first set up home together.

 

At Kingdom Homes we are delighted to be able to grant these wishes – the smiles on the faces of our residents and their families who accompany them are worth every bit of work that goes into organising the trips. We are humble to make their dreams come true, making new memories and stimulating old ones for very special people.

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Latest blog from our CEO: the Power to Dream

Rituals and routines are important and one of mine is that as I get my 2 and ¾ year old daughter up in the morning (the ¾ is important in nursery politics) I ask her did she have any dreams. She usually – unless grumpiness is present due to the early rise – says ‘Yes.’ When then asked ‘What about?’ She replies, ‘Monkeys and crocodiles’. Never ‘Crocodiles and monkeys.’

I am one of these folks who has never been able, with the odd exception, to remember my dreams but I know that the world of dreams is a very important part of our health and wellbeing. Yet despite years of analysis and debate from Jung to Wallace, why we dream remains one of the great mysteries of psychology. Some say its to do with consolidating our memories, others that dreams provide an enactment of threats to prepare response, and yet others that they are to do with regulating our emotions. Hundreds upon hundreds of books have been written about dreaming not least around the belief that dreams are a gate to greater insight, and in some cultures that they provide insight into the future in the nature of being premonitions.

Not surprisingly I am not going to discern that mystery today – give me some more sleep and I will try.

But there is another sense in which we talk about dreaming and that is the imagining of a world or a reality which is different to the one we are currently experiencing. Perhaps this sense was best encapsulated by Martin Luther King whose immortal speech, ‘I have a dream’ led a people to struggle and gain freedom from discriminatory law and behaviour in the 1960s Civil Rights movement.

Today is the last day of the inaugural Care Home Week and it is about ‘dreaming…’ It is a day where you are invited to dream with your imagination firmly rooted in reality about a new future and about different possibilities for the shape and life of care homes in Scotland.

We know the challenges that we face with an ageing population and reducing resources. We know the need to attract more and more committed individuals to work in our care homes and to properly reward and respect those who dedicate their lives to the work of care. But we also have, in the midst of challenge, to give space to be able to dream. We have to have the power to imagine better.

What do we want care homes to be and to look like?

Might we dream of a time when the old are not just considered as recipients of care and support but are recognised as contributors and valued citizens with still much to give?

Might we dream of a time when the physical care home building was a place at the heart of our community with doors open in safety to a neighbourhood which saw it as a place of happiness and enjoyment; of value and worth; of insight and surprise?

Might we dream of care as being seen as a critical role for our society intrinsic to making us a human community, well-valued, with good status and appropriate remuneration? A role held equally by men as by women, by the young as well as those not so young.

Might we dream of care homes being sufficiently resourced that they are able to be properly staffed so as to offer excellence in the care and support of conditions as diverse as dementia or multiple sclerosis or cancer?

Might we dream of care homes as places where poets and painters, musicians and politicians, dancers and dreamers live and spend their time? Places where death sits as comfortably as life, where honesty abounds and risks are entertained?

Might we dream together and make our dreams for care homes a reality for as John Lennon once said:

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.

Happy care home dreaming.

Donald Macaskill

@DrDMacaskill

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Care Home Week 17: Guest blog from Alison McPherson

 

 End of life care does not stop when the heart stops beating.

As a home manager, the care home I manage provides care for 57 people; 28 people who are living with dementia, and 29 younger people who are living with alcohol related brain damage.

Some of the residents do not have family members, through estrangement or because they have outlived their relatives and for these residents, relationships with the staff members are the closest to family that they have.

When a resident died, he was a few hundred pounds short of paying his funeral.  As there was no family, there was no one to claim benefit or contribute to the cost and he ended up in a pauper’s grave with no marking to remind people of his life.

This was distressing for the care team.  We discussed this within the team and it was decided that the care home should purchase a plot in the local graveyard where we could respectfully lay our residents to rest, with dignity.

Since then, the staff have arranged funerals for a number of residents, working with a local humanist (Paul Harkin).  The service is planned and the memories of fellow residents and staff members are recorded, and form the basis of the memorial service.  Staff members volunteer to be cord bearers for the coffin.  By supporting staff and residents to remember their friend and to participate in the organisation of the service,  they are able to grieve.  It provides an outlet for their feelings and provides opportunities for other residents to think about their own funeral, how they would like to be laid to rest, what music they would like, etc.  For some of them, they had never considered this an option. 

Staff members select music to be played, and this is normally songs that held meaning for the resident.  For one man it was Status Quo, ‘Rocking All Over the World’.  For another it was Judy Garland, ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’, as this was from his favourite film.

The memorial service is then held in the care home. The staff members prepare the room and residents are supported to attend.  When Paul delivers his service, very often there are not many dry eyes in the room.  The hearse is brought to the care home and staff and residents follow to the graveside, where the committal takes place.

On the return to the care home, a purvey is provided and we sit together, as one, to talk about our memories of the person we have lost.

Life has many roads, and for some they get stuck on a path. This doesn't mean that a person should not be afforded dignity at the end of their lives.

 

 

The Dash - Linda Ellis 1996

 

I read of a man who stood to speak

at the funeral of a friend

He referred to the date on his tombstone

from the beginning to the end

 

He noted that first came the date of his birth

and spoke the following date with tears

But he said what matters most of all

was the dash between the years

 

For the dash represents all the time

that he spent alive on earth

and only those who loved him

know what that little line is worth

 

For it matters not how much we own

the cars, the house, the cash

What matters is how we live and love

and how we spend our dash.

 

I'm privileged to spend my dash looking after others, ensuring that every day on earth is a day worth living, is a day where they are afforded dignity and respect.  And when their life is coming to the end, they leave knowing that they are safe and that they will not face their final journey alone.

 Alison McPherson (Hillview Care Home)

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Friendship: Strachan House Care Home

Today, all day, during #carehomeweek17 we are celebrating #friendship. Scottish Care's Integration & Improvement Lead Rene Rigby describes how Strachan House Care Home helps to foster inter-generational friendships by linking up with pupils from the local primary school. 

"The care home itself is located between Craigcrook Castle and Blackhall Primary School in Edinburgh. It provides care and support for some eighty two residents.

 

"Pupils from Blackhall School are regular visitors to the home and their choir performs for the residents, who love to hear the young people singing.

 

"The school pupils also join with residents to participate in a ‘bridging the generation gap’ initiative, where the children write stories and then spend time with residents discussing their writings.

 

"This week, to celebrate the friendship between the community and those living and working at the care home, the residents and children were joined by relatives and staff and enjoyed an outdoor fair ground musical concert thanks to Dignity Charity. The music unlocked and evoked many memories. The sun was shining, the gardens were alive with the chatter of voices old and young, there was an enjoyable interlude when we all had an ice cream cone.

 

"The beauty of collaboration in this inter-generational event is that we combine strength with wisdom."

Rene Rigby

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Care Home Week 17: Guest blog from Margaret Mackie

Today's #carehomeweek17 theme is #friendship and Anderson's Care Home in Elgin benefits from enjoying numerous enduring friendships with organisations based in their community. Margaret Mackie's blog below provides more insight into the value of these relationships to residents at the care home. 

 

In Anderson's, we believe that people in residential care should be able to enjoy a quality of life equalling, even surpassing what can be available to older people in their own homes. Individuality is important and actively promoted. Each person brings his/her own personality and unique life experience. 

One of our residents who is well known in the community and especially to our local football club, continues to attend home matches so we invited the football players to join us for tea, fun and games. So lovely for our residents to meet the players, coaches and legends from Elgin City Football Club. We were also joined by VIP Childcare Moray with whom we have a wonderful intergenerational link. The youngsters visit us on a weekly basis and entertain us with singing, stories and cuddles. VIP Childcare have their own vegetable plot in our gardens and our residents love to watch them planting their vegetables and watching them grow. The horticultural students from Moray College UHI  visit each week and attend to our gardens.  This is something special for residents who were keen gardeners. They enjoy picking the fruit and vegetables at the end of summer. We have also welcomed their beauty therapy students who spend time pampering our residents who really enjoy the attention.

We were very fortunate to welcome “employee volunteering” Chivas volunteers to join us on a couple of occasions. The first visit, they painted our fences in the gardens with the residents providing the juice and sweeties during the day. Their second visit, the Chivas volunteers assisted carers to escort our residents to East end School, with whom we also enjoy fantastic intergenerational links to watch their nativity play.

We Love to celebrate special events in a big way, i.e. Easter, Halloween, Christmas, Queens birthday, Valentine’s Day, Robbie Burns Day etc. Our residents look forward to these special events and enjoy helping to make the decorations at the arts and crafts group each Friday.  Once a year, we host a “Wig Wednesday” fun day. This is in aid of Clic Sargent supporting children with cancer. Residents really loved making their own hats and wigs and we were delighted to raise £333 for the charity.

Each Christmas we receive a special invitation to attend a Christmas dinner at our RAF base in Lossiemouth.  Gordonstoun school also send out an invitation to us each Christmas to spend an afternoon with them and enjoy a lovely high tea and entertainment from the pupils. We are regularly attended by volunteers from the students and there has been a community link with the school for over 40 years.

One of the most revolutionary ways in which Anderson's communicates with our community is via our Facebook page which shows all the wonderful things our residents participate in and all the events which take place.  By engaging in the medium of social media we have opened up a whole new world of communication for both our residents and relatives alike as social media has helped to bridge the gap in generational participation.

This is particularly lovely for families who live a distance away, especially those living abroad, who are able to respond and leave their own comments.  Our Facebook page is very popular and we receive thousands of likes on some of our posts.

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Ordinary Living at Abbeyfield Kirkcaldy Society

It is Care Home Week 17 and today we have been focusing on Ordinary Living. 

The residents and volunteers at Abbeyfield Kirkcaldy Society have provided us a snapshot of their everyday lives and activities at the care home, providing wonderful insight into the friendships and joy fostered with care home living. 

Mary McKay

"I’m very happy and very comfortable here at Abbeyfield. In fact I’d be happy to spend the rest of my life here. I like the things we do, they are great fun and good. The food is good, there’s always something nice to eat. The staff always go out of their way to help."

Helen Key

"Life at Abbeyfield is very good. I find the staff exceptionally good. There’s always something interesting to do and I’m glad I came here to live. My husband came to visit but took unwell and he was allowed to move in here until he eventually went into hospital. I felt that was so very special and I’m grateful that it could be done. I have also been supported to achieve a life long ambition which was to go to see “Take That”. I was taken to their concert in Glasgow. I’ve got the tee shirt!"

Bill

"The family didn’t want me staying by myself due to my mental and physical state. And so the decision was made for me to move to Abbeyfield.

"Two of my biggest problems were anxiety and depression. Since coming here I’m feeling so much better, more confident and relaxed. Being here is helping me get back to a more normal lifestyle. There’s great support here from everyone. I’m allowed to help out in the kitchen set tables etc, things I once was able to do at home. I’ve established contacts at the local church where I’m going to begin volunteering and have been out with the walking group “bums off seats”. Having people around me has helped enormously, I’m much happier within myself and feel things are heading in the right direction."

Jeannie

"I’ve volunteered here for over eight years. I began shortly after my mum, who was a resident at Abbeyfield, had passed away. I feel me being here helps gives the care staff more time with the residents. I love all aspects of the work that I do. I have training when needed or wanted and the care staff are always supportive and great to work with. They have made me part of the team."

David

"My recent holiday to Pitlochry was first class in fact I would say it’s the best holiday I have ever had. The hotel was lovely, the food was terrific. I went in a Jacuzzi for the first time in my life. There were only a few others in the pool and the whole thing was marvellous. I loved the outing to the House of Bruar for a shopping trip, it was great fun – nice soup! It was so good I had two bowls of it. The visit to the new dam centre was really interesting, lots to do and see and the views were great. I liked the Heather Gems factory and shop and found gifts for my daughters. We went to the Black Watch museum but they took ages with the meals so we didn’t have much time to look around. The only two downfalls were the singer at the hotel who hadn’t a clue and the bank holiday traffic on the way up. It was a great crowd I was with and we had a great time. I’m happy living here at Abbeyfield, you couldn’t find a better place. This is my third holiday since I came here, last year was to the Trossachs, and every one has been special. Life here is great, good company, good food, great outings."

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Care Home Week 17: Guest blog from Jai Chohan

To complement our Ordinary Living theme today during Care Home Week 17, we are featuring a blog from Jai Chohan at Broxburn Care Home. Harry was a resident at the care home and this blog describes how the staff were able to meet Harry's needs during his time there. 

Harry first came to our attention last summer via social work. He was residing in a home in Edinburgh where they were struggling to manage his level of stress while maintaining his independence. As a result, Harry had become difficult to care for and refused all help.  He was also absconding from the home regularly and displaying distressed reactions towards staff and fellow service users. Harry had no awareness of his own wellbeing or safety and in his own words believed everyone was ‘out to get him’ he just wanted to go home to his flat in Edinburgh and to see his friends at his local pub.

Harry had a history of alcohol abuse and suffered from poor mental health as well as his dementia diagnosis. As a team at the home we reviewed his needs and visited him at the home in Edinburgh. From this we felt that if we planned his care prior to admission, included him in his care planning and let him set his own realistic goals we could meet Harry's needs and improve his quality of life.

When preparing for his admission we used the issues that arose in his current home to prepare a safe and comforting environment for him. We also made sure all staff members were aware of Harry, his needs and our plans to encourage self-help. All staff in all departments played a huge part in Harry's care and in the improvement of his mood, care and general quality of life.

To care for Harry we had to get to know Harry.  He was allocated a key worker and named nurse, however everyone helped to bring Harry out of his shell. We found out about his life, his jobs, what made him happy and eventually he opened up about what made him sad and we began to get to the route of his problems.

Kitchen staff worked hard to include him in his meal choices to promote a regular varied diet. We saw his weight increase and he began to come out of his room and socialise at meal times. Housekeepers included him in cleaning his room as he would often leave his room in a very poor state.  Over time he began to take pride in his room and environment. He became close with staff and as he saw it, we were now his friends. We assisted with all his care needs when he first arrived as he did not want to look after himself. After encouragement, prompting and TLC, Harry began to shave himself, then shower himself, he put clean clothes on himself and cleaned his teeth. Before Harry became unwell he was primarily self-caring.

Harry was a very happy, caring and empathetic man who had lost his way slightly. Harry's dementia, mental health and alcohol issues were being treated but Harry the person had been forgotten. Our main goal when caring for him was not only to ensure he was healthy and comfortable, but also to meet Harry's own goals and outcomes. He wanted a pint in the pub, a cigarette, a Mars bar and a glass of cola at night amongst other day-to-day basic items. With every positive step Harry made with us we would help him meet one of these goals. We discussed why there were limitations for him, helped him to understand and included him how we would work around these.

We understood what he missed from his life and tried to incorporate it into his new life. He looked at Broxburn Care Home as his home and staff as his family and friends. We endeavoured to meet his everyday relationship and home comforts that he clearly craved.

Harry sadly became unwell and passed away, however while he was at Broxburn we strived to give him a good quality of life and believed that we did. He had his good days and bad days as we all do but during his year here he went for pints with staff and his son, regularly walked with staff to the shops, had a visit to Edinburgh and attended church. He became self-aware, happy and valued that he had met a lot of his own goals and we all still miss his happy face and silly jokes.

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Care Home Week 17: Guest blog from Fiona Collie (Carers Scotland)

Carers, families and care homes

Moving into a care home can be a big decision that brings about many changes to people’s daily lives. Some of these changes will be welcomed by people and their families because they bring more safety and security, as well as the friendship and companionship that may be found from being around peers.

Carers often say that they have conflicting feelings about making a decision with or for a person that they have to move into residential care.  Carers have told us that they experience a mixture of sadness and guilt, whilst also feeling some relief that the person they are looking after will be given a level of practical care and assistance that is now too difficult to maintain at home.

 “I know the feeling of having a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.  It’s what I felt when I made the decision that my brother had to be in a care home, and simply could not live independently any longer.  I also know the guilt that comes with that decision.”

Anon: Carers UK Carers Forum user.

For some carers, the person moving into a care home will be their spouse or partner.  In the case of older people, very often, they will have been married and living together for 50 or even 60 years. For both, the idea of living apart may be unimaginable and heart-breaking.

 “After 42 years of marriage, I miss her beyond belief.  For even when she was ill, she was a presence in the home.”[1]

It’s important that staff in care homes recognise these difficult feelings and the fact that, for many carers, caring simply continues but in a different way.  Many carers say they visit every day, help at mealtimes and in activities and take their loved one out on trips.  Involving carers and families can be crucial to the wellbeing of the person living there.

It’s important to encourage and support family life.

Care homes do and should actively work to involve carers and families and they should be encouraged to be a key part of their loved ones lives. Carers can help in bringing in personal items to decorate the person’s room, with advice on the person’s likes and dislikes, and information about what the person does as part of their normal routine.

Families, especially couples, should have time and space for private, undisturbed time together.  Where possible they should also be encouraged to take the person out to visit local places such as cafés and shops and local events… or to help them maintain interests, hobbies or clubs.

Care homes can set up a carers and families group (if there isn’t one already), where all the carers who feel like it could get together to support each other and perhaps work together for the home – fundraising or organising outings are often popular. Also they can share their concerns, and come to staff together with any issues.[2]

Useful resources for carers, families and people working in care homes:

  • Video: Living in a care home: a positive outcome for a person with dementia

http://www.scie.org.uk/dementia/supporting-people-with-dementia/living-care-home-positive-outcome.asp

  •  The Relatives and Residents Association has a range of resources for families, carers and workers. http://www.relres.org/

 

NOTES:

 

[1] Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2537556/I-wife-care-home-I-bear-guilt.html#ixzz4jVqVitHk
[2] Taken from (amended) http://www.scie.org.uk/dementia/carers-of-people-with-dementia/supporting-carers/hospital-and-care-homes.asp

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Care Home Week 17: Guest blog from Sue Northrop

Ordinary life is extraordinarily precious when someone we love is in a care home. It’s the little things that make life sweet for people in care homes, families and friends.

When Mum went into a lovely care home, we were both exhausted. I had stopped being a daughter and become a carer; ever on duty, an unpaid care-worker. The move was a relief. Mum is well cared for and happy and I was involved from the start in discussing her care and our family chose things for her room. It was wonderful to watch Mum make friends and build relationships with staff, she began to feel at home.

I’d got my Mum back, plus over the years I’ve acquired a host of other residents as honorary relatives. I was no longer Mum’s carer, I was her daughter and Mum was smiling and happy. When you love someone with dementia, that sense of getting the person back is very special.

My current caring role is less physical and more emotional and social. I do the family phone calls; birthday cards, photos and videos; I keep alive and share old and new family stories and songs. We’ve created a new way of being a family and new memories.

The care home staff have been critical. At the heart is an open and honest relationship. I can share (almost) any concerns and they will tell me almost immediately if Mum falls or gets ill. I can visit any time.

Little things help us retain and create a new sense of ordinary family life. I buy Mum’s clothes and arrange regular family chats and share photos. I visit at coffee time - my family does nothing without a cup of tea. When the family comes down, the manager gives us a big room and enough tea and biscuits to refresh an army. These are precious family times, when we are just ordinary people.

Caring is for life, it doesn’t start when we call ourselves a carer or end when someone we love goes into a care home or dies. Going into a care home can make it really hard to maintain a sense of connection to family and ordinary life. What makes it work? Care home staff involve me, we have an honest relationship, we talk. I trust them and Mum feels at home and is clearly happy because the staff show her they care.

The home enables us to keep doing the simple family things we have always done and show our love and mutual support in many small ways. At the biannual review we focus on our common cause - Mum’s health and happiness.

If everyone in a care home is to have a positive experience, we need a culture and practice which value relationships equally with physical care. We need to understand that relationships can be damaged by how care is delivered and transitions managed. Our relationships are precious and last beyond our lifetimes, we need to care for them.

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Care Home Week 17: Blog from Paul O’Reilly (Workforce Development Consultant)

Since beginning my role as Workforce Development Consultant with Scottish Care in March this year I have been so impressed by the dedication and passion exhibited by the many people I have met from organisations across the country.

In particular, the enthusiasm for delivering the highest standards of care by our front line colleagues has been humbling and energising.

Scottish Care’s Workforce Groups have been very well attended by representatives of every level within services. From Directors and Managers of services, the commitment to improving the experience for every one involved (both those receiving care and their families, to their own employees) has been evident and so encouraging. The positive attitude to innovation and the extra lengths services are prepared to go to in order to ensure people receive care and support that truly addresses their needs is something that we need to be more vocal about.

We have a sector full of ideas, energy and courage. Having the bravery to attempt new things when gaps in provision are apparent and there is little or no resource to fill them shows just how caring the Independent Sector is.

There will be other blogs this week which capture this, not least the one by Alison McPherson. Alison is Home Manager at Hillview Care Home and has prepared a blog that I would insist everyone should read. I will say no more than that as I could not do it justice!

While the commitment to care of senior staff has been so refreshing, as I said at the beginning of this piece, I have been most impressed by the front line workers that I have met and heard speak at groups and events.

We live and work in a time where the number of people requiring care is increasing daily. With this comes the heightened responsibilities of providing more and more critical levels of care to individuals who are living in their own homes longer. As a result, an increasing number of individuals are moving into care homes at a point where needs are far more complex than in previous times.

Despite the amount of differing pressures that our workforce are faced with each hour of every day, the dedication to improve the lives of everyone they work with has been imprinted on our Workforce Groups like words through a stick of rock.

From workers acting as Dementia Ambassadors attending our Promoting Excellence Group and speaking with such conviction and passion about what they do, would like to do, and what needs to happen to enable it – to care at home and care home colleagues speaking with such care and compassion about the palliative and end of life care they provide so frequently and want to improve on, it is evident that our workforce have the knowledge and drive to care for us all long into old age and beyond.

At a time when care services are more embattled by challenges than ever, the voices of the workforce tell me that we are in good, caring, hands.